Today, i was assigned to be a film workshop assistant. It is the same workshop which i attended 3 years ago as student. Perhaps 3 years is indeed a long time. But instead of being depressed about it, i was somewhat happy. Because instead of stagnating, i can proudly say that i am growing. A tangible grow that i can measure.
Because to be honest, choosing to be a filmmaker is a constant battle against yourself. So many new potential will outgrow you exponentially at any time. My confidence was constantly crushed after watching hordes of good films. Because apparently, everyone can make a good film and i am not the special snowflake that i thought i was.
A moment of reflection, 3 years ago i started literally as zero, and even worse. I am that kind of despicable person who think that he can do anything. That kind of me will never imagine what he'll turn out to be 3 years later. A speck of dust in galaxy.
Well, for what its worth, my progress might be slow. But i think that it was the first time in my life that i can really relax and enjoy the ride a little bit. Filmmaking really are teaching me how to be humble.
